Here We Go...

Tomorrow it begins!  I will be getting up at 5 am to start my workouts and my goal is to workout 1 hour-twice a day.  Although, before I get too far into my plan, let's get the beginning stuff out of the way!

I just want to say that posting what I am about to post is harder than anyone can imagine!  I feel a little sick to my stomach because, well, it is what I feel like I have been "hiding" for so long!  If I put this struggle, put the truth out there to the world-what will come of it?  How will I be accepted?  At this point in my life, if I never had to leave my house and I could live behind a really great picture of someone who was thin and beautiful and could communicate with everyone I know through words alone-I would be happy!  I can be my truest self when I don't think people know what I really look like.  I avoid so many social situations because I'm so afraid of what people will think of me, how I will be judged.

But, I can't heal (physically, emotionally or mentally) if I don't put the whole truth out here.  So, be forewarned, I will be sharing this whole journey!  And it just may kill me!  But it probably won't!  Maybe it will be the key to really start living and enjoying my life to the fullest!

Okay, enough babbling! Can you tell I'm stalling?

Today is July 15, 2012.

Starting weight is 254.2 pounds

Here are pictures taken just tonight:

And now on to  my plan!

I used a calculator at LiveStrong to figure out that I need to eat 2,000 calories a day to lose 2 pounds a week.  I'm going to start here and tweak as I go.  This journal will help me see what may need tweaking!

Just a word on what my current diet consists of and why I don't think it is working.  First of all, I may look like I spend the day on the couch, watching tv and eating a gallon of ice cream a day. But I really don't. In fact, I'm not really sure when the last time was that I had ice cream.  For the most part, I eat a very whole foods diet.  I do eat some processed things, I'm not going to lie. But when I bake for my family, I use raw honey or raw sugar. I haven't bought white sugar in months.  I have eaten a completely gluten free diet for the past 3 1/2 years and even eat very little grains.  I don't use vegetable oils or margarine or those things.  I use coconut oil or olive oil or real butter.  I eat a lot of vegetables and fruits and mostly only drink water.

One would think that I would surely lose weight-just sticking with a diet of this.  However, I think part of it is my portions and probably the ratio's of things I eat.  For example, my favorite vegetable is zucchini. I could eat it for every meal and currently have it growing like crazy in my garden!  However, smother it in cheese and it isn't all that healthy anymore.  I love chicken, but cover it in ketchup (even the better kind with no high fructose corn syrup) and the calories add up.  Did you know 1 cup of cooked carrots is only 60 calories?  But drizzle 2 T. of coconut oil over them (which is like the best combination!) and you add 240 calories!  I'm not saying that it still isn't worth it-I know the value of good oils in a daily diet, but this sort of thing done multiple times a day and, well, it is a lot of calories to burn with no exercise. 

Long story short, I'm going to weigh and measure everything I eat and record it.  I'm even going to record it here!  Many of you reading it may be a lot more educated in this area and may have ideas of what I am missing or what I could substitute, etc.  Plus, it keeps me accountable to myself! It keeps me honest both when I'm making the decision to eat something and to admitting it afterwards!

I also mentioned exercise. Lucky for me, I already have a gym membership-one I've been paying $40 a month for--to do absolutely nothing with it!  That changes tomorrow! I'm going to make up for all the past money I've sunk into it by visiting at least twice a day.  It is just up the street from my house, so this shouldn't be hard at all! Afterall, for the next 5 months, my top priority is getting healthy!

On my facebook page, a friend of ours asked me about hiring a physical trainer. I have a great story about that! Some of you already know it, but I'll share the whole thing tomorrow.  For now, though, I'm going to go at it on my own.  I know what I need to get started. I know the basics for weight lifting and actually love that part of it.  I don't love cardio-but that is what I need to start with so I will be hitting the eliptical first thing!  I have bad knees (who wouldn't with carrying all this weight around) so I'm going to be careful on the impact I put on my body. I may also do some swimming every day.

The last part of my goal revolves around supplements.  I have some great vitamins that I've been kind of negligent in taking.  Starting tomorrow, I'm going to be faithful about them!  I'm also going to take a good probiotic daily to help heal so much of the damage that I'm still dealing with from having undiagnosed Celiac Disease for so long.  And with these, I'm going to drink a lot of water. I once heard that you should drink half your weight in water each day.  For me that would be about 125 ounces. I know I'm not getting anywhere close to that now!

Next Saturday night, we will do the weigh in and more pictures.  I know the pictures won't really change week to week, but I want a clear record, so I can begin to see when things do change.

And now it really is time to publish this post and these pictures!  I'm just going to close my eyes and push the button and I'll see you all tomorrow!