The Story with the Personal Trainer

Okay, writing out that title made me think of all the titles from the "Friends" episodes!  Maybe I've been watching a few too many reruns! LOL!

Anyway, before I get to my fun story of the night, let me check in! I think I did well, for the first day at least!

I woke up at 5 am and hit the gym.  For the first time ever in my life I stayed on the elliptical for the full hour!  It felt great!  I kept my heart rate right around 150 which is where I was told (back when I did the training) it needed to be to be at a proper aerobic state!  I went back in the evening and swam for 15 minutes.  I couldn't believe how tiring the swimming was! I am so out of shape! 

As for the food, I started off the day with a protein shake as I headed out the door to exercise.  I hate eating early in the morning, but I wanted to jump start my metabolism, so the shake was great for that.  It is a shake from DoTerra (where I also get my supplements and essential oils).  I love it! It is full of great healthy things and uses stevia as a sweetener. I mixed it with some almond milk and between the two, it was worth 160 calories.

Afterwards, I drank some water and added a protein packet that I got as a free sample the other day (from the Biggest Loser products) that turned it into lemonade.  It actually tasted great and was 6 g. of protein and only 40 calories.

For the rest of the day, at different times, I had:

2 cucumbers
1 tomato (both fresh from my garden)
1/2 of a zucchini boat (baked with hamburger, tomatoes, green chilis and topped with a little mozarella cheese)
an apple
steak
broccoli
salad with ranch

I know the ranch wasn't the best choice, but I was still within the 2000 calories so I decided to indulge a bit!

I drank about 150 ounces of water and definitely found myself peeing a lot more! LOL!!

Now for my trainer story...

Several years ago, after Noah (my 3 year old) was born, I was really committed to losing weight!  I was about 220 at the time and wanted to lose the baby and other excess weight!  I found a gym in Salt Lake that wasn't cheap, but they had amazing child care. This was huge to me since I not only had a baby and a 3 year old, but Sam was only 5 and not in school yet and he required very careful watching.  For those who may not know, Sam is my beautiful, wonderful boy with xxyy syndrome and on the autism spectrum.

Things were going great. Soon after joining, I bought the training package (and believe me, it cost a lot).  We decided that we wanted to make this a priority and it was worth the sacrifice in money.

I started working and things were going well.  Over the course of 2 months, I lost about 15 pounds and was building muscle, gaining better balance, etc.  I loved it! I loved doing weights. I loved challenging myself on the balance ball.  I didn't love squats, but who does?

One day, as I had just completed an hour long Hot Yoga class and was feeling so optimistic about my progress, I returned to pick up my kids.  I was told that Sam had escaped 4 times in that hour and had been found in the parking lot each time.  They told me that they just couldn't ensure his safety and had to suspend my membership.  I had no way to work out if I couldn't bring him, so my membership and training ended that day.  I cried all the way home. I felt so defeated. It didn't seem fair.  But I guess life isn't fair and often when we work so hard to make positive changes-crappy things will happen!  That day I went home and cried and found comfort in food. I felt justified in making a great big plate of nachos, smothered in cheese with a huge dallop of sour cream.  I had earned it, I told myself. This wasn't my fault and maybe I just wasn't meant to be in shape or do anything positive for myself.

But I should have let that moment be a building block for me. I should have found other ways and just kept going.  I shouldn't have let bitterness at autism rob me of what I had already accomplished. I had to learn the hard way.

So, for now, the plan is to move ahead without a trainer because I still have quite a bit of valuable knowledge I already gained-I just need to put it into practice myself.  When I hit a plateau and feel unsure of what to change up-then I'll be hiring a trainer again. 

For too long on this journey, I have believed that a plan, or a gym, or a trainer would make the difference. I would buy another book, join another gym, etc. only to get burned out after a week or two.  Change doesn't come from external things-change is internal. I have the tools I need, it is time I apply them and move forward! No more excuses. No more letting discouragement win!

As a final note, before I head to bed--words can not express how much all of your support means to me!  The comments have made my day and have made me feel like I really can do this and that I'm not alone!  A good friend dropped my house today with an apple!  What an amazing show of support!  And I'm even more thrilled that many of you want to join along!  Please do! The more the merrier!  It's time we each take back our lives and begin to live the way we "want" to and not just with what we can!

Until tomorrow...